Ok so summer is near. ive got bits and pieces of my life organized im really happy about that.
University / College
AI - Im going to cancel my application there. i cant afford it. its to expensive.
Capillano - Im officially accepted. ill be starting on september 4
UBC - Going there this saturday to take the LET. this applies for all univs and colleges.
SFU - no report yet.
Langara - no report yet.
Yesterday.
Really tiring and amazing day yesterday. I went on a date after work. I watched spider man 3 with julie from work and went home at like 1 in the morning. lol.
I dont know. Maybe, i miss being in the phil? I find that the people i happen to meet are to drama, to maarte... di ko madescribe.
I guess... I miss my crew, My friends back home. They graduated without me. And i have to graduate on my own. I was to immature to realize that i left such good people behind.
Di, sa totoo lang? cguro... lonely lang ako... ang feeling na iyan na parang, magisa ka lang sa mundo na to. kung nasa bahay, parang kaaway ang pamilya mo at kung nasa school madami kang kasama na mga gago at pasaway. umiba daw ang mga pasaway sa la salle. kung keilan man ako umalis diyan bumait sila. malungkot lang ako in other words. para bang sa pagkakatao ko, may malaking butas ako.
Ha! Tinatago ko lang and totoong nararamdaman ko sa sarili ko. mga kaibigan ko, di nila alam kung paano talaga ako.
i have a good family, good friends, good job... pero bakit pa ako malungkot? cguro, di pa ako sanay. Nagiba talaga ang isip ko. nahalata ko sa sarili ko noong napunta ako dito sa vancouver. nagiba talaga ang isip ko. di na totoy (minsan minsan lang nangyayari) pero para bang, naging complex ang pagiisip ko. para bang, may sensibilty ba, di ko talaga madescribe.
pwede nga akong gumawa ng isang aklat, bob ong style, about the typical life of a filipino in vancouver. I want to do that. pangalan ng aklat "snow in manila, rain in vancouver"
WARNING TO THE READER: May contain harsh language.
Damn!!!! The people here in canada, phew! there to damn emotional!
Ok, i admit, i t0 am emotional, but not to that extent. Sometimes i can at least control my emotions and not show others how i feel. Canada changed me not to expose my emotions, i used to before, but not anymore. but damn! i cant get over the fact that these people... these people... have to show the whole damn world how the fuck there feeling. i mean cmon, its something that has to be kept in private and not exposed to the crowd. gosh, those kind of people really annoy the shit out of me. everywhere i go there there. in school, they always write in there little msn display messages "i hate it when things backfire" or "5 months of bullshit" i mean... why do you people have to do that. nakakahiya sa race nating mga filipino na pakita sa buong mundo na malungkot ka. tas people at work. god, not my co-workers, but those fucked up customers that are damn drug addicts. to fucking emo to fucking concentrate on there lives and not doing anything to fix there lives. god! i mean ya, youre life is screwed up but did you really have to fucking turn to drugs to drown all the fucking sorrows away? screw you little bitches to fucking hell! the rest of you that have the money and act all high and mighty act like you got balls bigger than the rest. well you fuckers, die in fucking hell. god... the people here really make me pissed and angry.
On the other hand, i feel blessed that i came here to canada, cause there are some things that i might have not learned if i was still back in manila. i learned a lot here in this place. canada, even though half of the people here are stupid fucks, is a big part of me and i could not imagine where i would be if i had not gone to canada.
Love is a vague word. When you type it on the internet, diffrent kinds of meanings will appear.
Sometimes, defenitions are not enough to describe such a big word. It is idealized and identified by the experiences of an individual.
It is the hardest thing that can ever come up upon your life. It can be harder to solve mathematical equations and it can be a powerful hit on the face.
devastates, massacres, eliminates name it, love can do those things to you.
The idea is to get on with my normal life. apparantly, my plan failed. this is the question for me now. what now? whats the next move for me to get my normal life back?
